THE NAGGING WOMAN
A few weeks ago, a new friend of mine on facebook chatted me up and told me that he saw an ad somewhere titled “why do women nag?” and he would love to hear my perspective on the matter.
After a brief consideration, I decided that perhaps, it’s worthy of attention as the issue of nagging causes a lot of rift in relationships. Majority of men can’t stand a nagging woman, at first they may try to be patient but eventually, it would push them away because they will grow miserable.
In the area of nagging, many factors come to play and before we go further, let me quickly point out that not only women are guilty of this, some men can nag for Africa, lol.
First, there is the issue of natural propensity; for some women, they are naturally nags, they love to complain, they are impatient and can’t wait for you to finish a sentence. These women aren’t horrible creatures; they just need to be handled because they have the emotional capacity of a child.
Secondly, because they believe it helps them get what they want. In some relationships, the men don’t respond until the woman nag, and once this has been established, the relationship will exist on the nagging basis. I nag, you do. I don’t nag, you don’t do. It’s sad but it’s an established pattern.
Thirdly, nagging comes from frustration, some women nag because the men in their lives don’t do things the way they like. She can say it over and over again and somehow, he just keeps doing it the same wrong way.
This is what you need to know, my sister, nagging is the queen cause of frustration, and I’m sure you don’t need your man to be frustrated because if he is, then he might not be able to perform at all, he might break down. I’m sure that is not what you want.
And most importantly, if you nag a lot, no one takes you seriously, once you start talking, everyone is like “abeg leave her make she talk, na her work” even when you are right, you will be overlooked, ignored and rated as a crazy person.
Instead be patient, let the little things go and ignore some issues. You might think that keeping quiet might be construed as agreement to that situation, or that if you don’t talk it will not get done but that’s not it.
Do you know that you can communicate a lot with silence? In fact, you might even get more from your man when you don’t pester him about everything. Same goes for men who nag their women.
“Abeg, biko, e nor be good habit so reduce am” when some men see their babe, their hearts will start beating irregularly not because of love but because of panic. “oooh, she don come with her wahala again” come on, not cool.
Yes, men and women process thoughts differently, while a woman might need verbal confirmation, a man might feel it unnecessary. You tell him something and because he has working ears, he believes that you should know that he has heard you but a woman will need you to say “i don hear, i go do am”
Mostly, women communicate with words, men communicate with actions. Get an understanding of each other and communicate on the basis of that understanding.
Just imbibe patient, understanding and wisdom and let nagging be…
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