“Tasha, this your body is the perfect size, wow” “Tasha, see as you come lean, you sure say you dey alright?” “Tasha, you don fat spoil ooo, see your leg, abeg take an easy” I can get this reaction from different people in just one day, wearing the same outfit.
So no, I don’t care what people say about my weight, my looks or the way I dress. Everything a person says about your life, your relationship, your dreams, and weight should be subject to your review.
Because everyone has a different set of eyes and they see different things even when they look at same things, if you try to live your life according the dictates of people, you will be led astray and you would be among all men the most miserable.
If you love yourself the way you are, then anyone who loves you should too. There are some people who are like chameleons in relationships; they change personalities in every relationship they get into. In one relationship, their favourite colour is white, best food is noodles, favourite television is Keeping up with the Kardashians.
Then in the next relationship, their best colour is pink, best food is rice and probably don’t like television shows at all.
People like this change so as to fit into their current relationship and with time, they totally forget who they are. Each day that passes by, they put their lives on hold just to live another person’s life, feeling like they would gain more acceptance by so doing.
Sorry darling, you wouldn’t, you should have a mind of your own because no one likes a push over. This applies to both men and women, discipline yourself, bred yourself into the kind of human being you want to be and let everyone who come into your life see who you are, not who they want.
Leave room for compromise but don’t play the game or follow everyone’s rule “you can’t be too fat or too thin, you can’t be dark or too light, you can’t be too smart or dumb and you can’t be too sexual or too chaste.
Screw the rules and be yourself, you might think that following all that rule will make them love you more, becoming whoever they want you to be and not being your own person, but the truth is that, if you don’t show them who you are, then they don’t love you at all, they love that person you are pretending to be.
There is someone who will love and appreciate who you are and even when you need to bend a little to please your spouse, its okay but don’t obliterate your entire being.
You are not a robot, you are a person. Know yourself and let your spouse get to know you, don’t pretend to be who you are not simply to get him or her and later reveal your inner self.
You see girls who you would consider rude and obnoxious but their men love them and accept them inspite of all their flaws, well, that’s because there is no pretence, he saw her from beginning, she showed herself to him and he had to decide whether to accept her or not.
There is a reason why they say “the devil you know is better than the angel you don’t know”
Be yourself; be fat if that’s what makes you feel beautiful. Love your black skin and your body shape, accept it and carry it with confidence. Never feel the need to change for anybody. Love yourself…
This write up came with some edited excerpts from chapter eight of my book ROSES AND ITS THORNS. Have a blessed week and do subscribe to the blog by screwing to the button of the page, type down your email address and click on SUBSCRIBE (It’s free)… and please leave a comment, I want to know what you think. Thanks guys.