I understand that while you would be reading through some articles, you would have series of questions which might begin to bug you. That is what the “Ask Tasha” column is here for, you can login here any day of the week to upload your questions via on love, relationship or career and on Friday, I’ll respond to all of them and then publish it.

You don’t have to worry about your name been published to the public as you don’t have to put up your real name, and your email would not show either. We all need help sometimes and you should never be ashamed of that…

Type your question in comment box below:

 

31 thoughts on “Ask Tasha

    • Natasha Eruteya says:

      Dear Israel, anyone that couldn’t stay with you during your hard times should not be allowed to stay during the good times. except there is more to the situation than you have revealed. But if there are none, then you can think of building something new with someone who can stay through thick and thin with you…

      • Ifewario Israel says:

        Well,during that difficult times,she was not aware of what I was going through because I didnt make the situations known to her but as a result,I could not show her the love and care she needed from me and I couldn’t do the things I ought to have done for her during this time,especially in some special occasions like Xmas or valentine’s day,so maybe she felt I do not care about her,but I do care about her,because I know how much I do love her and, I wants to make it up to her this time around if I can have her back,because I have learned from my past mistakes now.

    • Natasha Eruteya says:

      Dear David, what a want to know is the status of your current relationship and also if your ex-girlfriend wants you back? Now, if you have gone far into a new relationship, i think you should work on building it instead of falling into an old one that has already proven to be bad for you…

  1. Dear Tasha
    Patrick is my name. I wish to thank you for your your Wisdom. How do one manage emotions of an heartbreak?

    • Natasha Eruteya says:

      Dear Patrick, heartbreaks can be very brutal, however, we can’t wish it away, you have to deal with it by getting closure. Though you didn’t make it specific what kind of heartbreak you are experiencing, i believe that if you can get more understanding of the situation, then you can begin to deal with it one day at a time till it becomes a thing of the past…

  2. I have a girlfriend that loves me so much but I don’t fell anything for her. pls advice me on how to breakup with her

    • Natasha Eruteya says:

      Dear Anonymous, you contradict yourself, how can you love someone so much and not feel anything for them? but if you are looking for my advice on how to breakup with her, then, here is what i have for you. Listen carefully, first of all, ask yourself why you want to leave her and afterwards, take a moment to imagine your life without her. Be realistic, if you think the picture is better without her in it, then you might go ahead and end it with compassion…

  3. Dear Tasha, I have worked at my current work place for two years and it has gone very well, my salary is good and tends to all my basic needs but my brother wants me to resign and come work for him, he started his own establishment a few months back and he wants me to be his accountant. When I managed to say no in the most tactical way I could, he reported me to our parents and now everyone in my family is accusing me of not wanting his progress, in truth, my brother’s offer was good and very tempting, the proposed salary is higher than what I’m been paid at the moment but I don’t want to be involved in a family business, and though my brother is the primary owner of the business, my father has a lot of his money in it, and also has a huge say in it. I’m confused, please help. From Doris. Benin City.

    • Natasha Eruteya says:

      Dear Doris, family business can be tricky and i’m sure that’s why you are skeptical about joining your brother, the family is mounting pressure on you and that should tell you something, your job with your brother is going to be a family affair, you will not be regarded as an employee but will be treated like a younger sister. It’s your family and you understand it best but here is what i think, Doris, stand your ground and grow a life outside of your family, your current salary might not be as much but someday you will appreciate being on your own…

  4. Dear Tasha, I love my best friend’s girlfriend. Though I don’t want to do anything about it but I think that I should because my guy nor just like the girl at all and I dey die for her matter. Troy from Benin.

    • Natasha Eruteya says:

      Dear Troy, let me now sound like a father, “Troy, what are your intentions for the girl? are you in love with her?” because you must have heard that love isn’t selfish. You going after her might cost you your friendship, is what you feel for her worth that much? she might be disappointed in you and might not feel the same way. Ok, you have considered all this and you still want to go ahead, good! call your friend and talk to him, let him know that this girl he is treating less means something to you and take it from there… But don’t say a word to this girl until you have had a word with your friend.

  5. Dear Tasha, my name is Rita from Mosoga in delta state. I have been married to my husband for three years now and we have a three years old daughter. But my husband wouldn’t stop cheating on me, he has numerous girls but there is one particular girl that he pays more attention to. She calls him at time and we have quarrelled over it countless times. Please, tell me how to handle it, I can over look all but not that girl because she is coming for my home please help.

    • Natasha Eruteya says:

      Dear Rita, ignore him, I’m not married and I don’t know a lot about marriage but I know one thing for sure, a man hardly stop anything because you asked him to, it’s an ego thing. So, pretend as if you don’t see it and treat him as if he is the most faithful man on earth. This might seem like the weak thing to do but if you do it right, you will see the power in it. And my dear, it will take a lot of patient and prayers but trust me, your man will return to you in full…

  6. Dear Tasha, I know this is a very common problem and has been quite a joke over the years but right now it is a pressing concern for me, I have been with my boyfriend for four years now, going to five years, I graduated from the university two years ago, luckily for me I was retained at the company where I served, as expected my parents stopped sending me any allowance and since my income wasn’t so much, I suggested to my boyfriend that we moved in together and he didn’t object it. We have been living together since that time. Though I know his income isn’t enough for us to start a family yet, and I’m not so concern about it at the moment, what gives me concern is how he never talks about it and how he tries so hard to change topic the once our friends bring it up. He had a very intense argument with one of his friends one time when he was being persistent on the topic and they almost result to blows, I was so embarrassed, and I cried quietly in the bathroom when we got home. Even when I jokingly bring up the topic of children, he gets upset or he either changes it entirely or find an excuse to leave the room. I’m worried, am I wasting my youth? What can I do? Rachel from Sapele

    • Natasha Eruteya says:

      Dear Rachel, the signs your man is showing you concerning your future together might seem clear but you have no idea where his heart is. Here is what I think, stop beating around the bush and get to the point, call him and have the conversation with him. It might seem desperate but there is no need taking a driving lesson if you have no intention to drive. If the relationship has no future then it would be wise if you know now and decide for yourself when to leave and find someone who would give you what you want… Also, if you are a Christian, I suggest you pray first before you sit him down.

  7. Dear Tasha. Two years ago, I broke up with a man I dated for three years because he wasn’t ready to be serious with me and also sleeping around with other girls, after which I started dating this man who really likes me and treat me well, he has gone to see my parents and also taken me to see his. Two months ago, my ex started calling me and even came to my office, he wants me back and his now offering me all and even more than I wanted of him while we were still together. Though I turned him down and told him that I have someone now, I still feel like maybe I should give him a try. I really love him, even after all these years and wished I feel for my new boyfriend half of what I feel for him but I don’t. I’m I stupid to feel this way? What should I do? Onome from Warri.

    • Natasha Eruteya says:

      Dear Onome, what we should do and what is right are sometimes different things, I can’t encourage you to defile your heart but I’ll say this much, love with your heart but make decisions with your head. This decision aren’t always easy to make but to come to a good decision you have to ask yourself this few questions. One, why did you break up with him? Two, has he deviated from those things? Three, does he love you half as much as you love him? Four, does he want you back simply because now that he sees someone loving the person he couldn’t care less about he now wants it? Answer these questions for yourself. Having said all that, a relationship can end for years and still the two people can find their way back to each other and also appreciate each more than ever, so weigh what you have with what you want, is your ex really worth giving up your new man for?…

  8. Dear Tasha, I started going out with my girlfriend about a year ago and she has become a very important part of my life, I deeply love her and hope we get married some day, but my best friend doesn’t like her, I have known this guy for years and he has been very helpful to me. At first I thought it was because he didn’t know her, so I tried to bring them close but that only made it worse, she noticed that he hates her and she’s angry. Also, she is making me choose between them. I feel like I have two wives. Fred from Benin

    • Natasha Eruteya says:

      Dear Fred, talk to your friend and get him to tell you why he doesn’t like her, try to see if it’s reasonable, he might know something about her that you don’t or maybe he likes her for himself which is very much possible but if his reasons turn out to be nothing tangible, then be straight and stern with him, your friend doesn’t have to be friends with your girlfriend but he has to be respectful, and keep his dislike to himself, he shouldn’t make her feel uncomfortable. I’m sure he is a mature guy and he could understand that he is putting you in an awkward position, talk to your friend, make him open up to you, there might be more…

  9. Dear Tasha, almost seven years ago, this man broke up with me, we were very good friends before we became lovers and after which I was devastated and had no one to talk to. But thank God I got over it and now happily married with two children, last year, my ex sent me a friend request on facebook and I accepted, I haven’t seen or heard from him since. But after I added him up on facebook, we chat a lot and he even collected my phone number from facebook and called me, he is unmarried and sometimes he talks to me about when we were together (the happy times of it) and also jokes about losing me. It’s starting to get very uncomfortable not that he’s been inappropriate but I haven’t mention it to my husband and I don’t know if I should tell him either. What should I do? Can I really be friends with my ex? Silver from Benin.

    • Natasha Eruteya says:

      Dear silver, yes, you can be friends with your ex but you shouldn’t, not with this one, he is unmarried and talking to a married woman about the relationship he had years ago is inappropriate and he is probably trying to incite some old feelings in you. You should have told your husband from the onset, telling him now will seem like confessing to a crime. Politely tell him to stop calling you and try to stop chatting with him. To you it might be casual but you don’t know what’s going on in his mind. If you’re still on the fence about it, ask yourself this question, will you be happy if you find out that your husband has been talking with his ex, reminiscing on old times with her behind your back…?

  10. Bobi Victor Ochuko says:

    Dear Natasha, am in love with this particular girl that I love her so damn much that it’s her pictures that I see in my thinking. I meant it when I said I did but she still did not understand it. Please tell me how to go about it.

    • Natasha Eruteya says:

      Dear Bobi Victor Ochuko, love is not just words, it’s the things that you do and the way you do them. First, figure out through her actions and body language if she feels the same way about you and also, show her that you feel what you said you are feeling… if its meant to be then you can make it work.

  11. Dear Tasha, I have always wanted to be with this girl for years now. She makes me happy and comfortable whenever we talk n chat. Though, we have not meet for the first time. Always on phone conversation, We were so intimate and easy going, lovely friendship, found un-ending love in her. The Problem here is that lost my phone n contacts,could’nt reach her for some time. But i have her contact now n have been begging her for a perfect relationship. Still love her and feel much love for her. I don’t know if she will love me in return. Pls help me find solution to this.

    • Natasha Eruteya says:

      Dear Simplyraph, your situation is not so complicated, though every matter of the heart is complicated and while you are considering your heart, you still have to consider the other person’s heart as well. Have you had the talk with her? have you tried to find out where her own heart lies? or if she feels same for you? These are the things you should find out first. If you are still in contact with her then i will advice for you to arrange to meet her in person, most people tend to be very skeptical about online personalities who they have never met, and once you can pass through that barrier then maybe you both can finally be together or not…

  12. Dear Tasha I was employed at a start up company six months ago and now one of the manager is pulling out and requesting me to come with him. He is offering me more than i’m earning at my current job but I feel like it’s disloyal to leave. Also, he is telling me that the company might be folding up and that it would be wise for me to come with him. What should I do? Frank from Warri.

  13. Natasha Eruteya says:

    Dear Frank, the devil you know is better than the angel you don’t know, but nevertheless, you can’t act on fear. Inquire further and figure out the truth in what that manager is telling. Also, you can prove you are an invaluable asset to the company by helping them stay in business, instead of jumping ship once it seem like your current ship is sinking. Add your own wisdom to this advice and it might prove productive…

  14. Dear Tasha, my girl friend is extremely dirty, every time i go to her place I can’t breathe. I don’t drink water in her house. The whole smells. I haven’t tried to talk to her about but it always turn to argument. I love her and I just wish for a way to change her. she even smells, I buy her deodorant but u don’t think she uses it. please help. how should I go about this? from Mike

    • Natasha Eruteya says:

      Dear Mike, cleanliness they say is next to Godliness, and for a girl, cleanliness is fundamental and essential. But the true problem is that most dirty people don’t know that they are dirty and when you tell them, they take offence. As difficult as this conversation might go, you have to do it, sit her down and tell her. Here is a trick that might work; mockery could be very effective for a lot of people so mock her, you can make her feel embarrassed and then laugh about it. No adult will like to be addressed as dirty and if you apply the right tactics, you might just be able to change her and still keep your relationship.

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